“Estar” is not the same as “Stay”

 

I have been noticing lately that my Spanish students are always saying “I stayed with a colleague” or “We stayed with smiles on our faces”, and I have come to realize that this is a difficult corner of language that sounds correct but is probably being used incorrectly. I am beginning to suspect that they have the wrong definition of “stay”.

Next, they will say “I passed the night in Barcelona” and then I know that they are not using “stay” correctly… So, what is behind this point? I realize that many times they are really saying “Estaba con mi campañero” or “Estabamos sonriendo” and then “Pasé la noche…” Here, students are assuming that because “estar” and “stay” are cognates (“stay” comes from the same Latin root as “estar”) they must mean the same thing.

Let’s clarify this mistake. “Stay” will usually mean “spend (not pass) the night” somewhere. “I stayed in Barcelona at a really nice hotel”, for example. That also means that you “spent the night” and you probably slept. Then I ask for clarification. Did you sleep at your colleague’s flat as a guest? Usually, the answer is no. And then I inform my student that their good intentions of using a variety of vocabulary is mistaken. We would use the plain, simple, boring, but effective “be”.

So, now we can say confidently “I was with my colleague”. This would transform the other well-intended phrase “We stayed with smiles on our faces” into the plain, simple, boring, but effective “We were smiling”, “We smiled”, or for the more elaborate “That made us smile”.

And when you want to say “pass the night”, then don’t use the word “pass”. Instead you can say “stay” or if you prefer “spend the night”. (Remember, time is money 😉

One other definition of “stay” means to go beyond one measure of time which is usually defined by the activity you are involved in. Maybe you went to visit a friend in the afternoon for a coffee and you “stayed” for dinner. This means the planned coffee time has ended and you continued on to the next event. The next activity may or may not be planned. But you stayed beyond the time frame of the first activity. Sometimes, students in my classes have a medical appointment after class and they can’t stay long after the class. But, occasionally, if they can stay after class, we might go get a coffee or beer.

Remember don’t be afraid to be simple. Simple English does not mean “bad” or “low level” English. It means good practice and control of the basics.

Another related concept is to “meet up” with people for a coffee which is just a simple as that…..

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